a testimony of His faithfulness

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." -Psalm 40:1

By the end of the summer, my patience was waning. For three months I had been searching and praying for ministry partners who would support me financially to minister to UCLA students, and still I was at less than 30% of my monthly support goal. Every day and night I was crying out to God to provide for me, but the chances of me being able to report to UCLA on time were looking grim. Then suddenly, the day before the first week of school, all the rest of the money came in!

Looking back on those weeks before my report date that I was literally crying to God, on the brink of losing all hope that raising this much money was possible, I can see how God was challenging me and loving me through the whole process. He answered my prayers for an awesome support team who would believe in me and fight with me in prayer. He showed me that my worth is not based on human ideas of success. He showed me his power and his grace in giving me all I could ask for and more. He gave me a picture of utter brokenness and trust. And most of all, he showed me that he is God, and I am not. What is impossible with men is truly possible with God!

Now, I am beginning my new job as a UCLA campus missionary, and honestly, I don't think I realized exactly what I was getting myself into! Having graduated from UCLA, I pictured myself this year being in my comfort zone, doing what I do best and thriving. Instead, I am finding the opposite is true! I am being stretched and tested. I have felt overwhelmed, weak, and frustrated. And somehow, through it all, I know that I am exactly where I need to be. At times that I have been weak, I sense the Lord is strong. At times that I have felt overwhelmed, I have been brought to my knees in prayer. At times that I have been tired, I have found rest in God. Now, more than ever, my desire is to seek the Lord, to trust in him and to love his people more.

My heart yearns for the Lord! It beats for Jesus, my savior! Who else but he could be so faithful and just? Pray for me, that I would continue to be teachable, soft clay to be molded by his hands.