Wednesday, February 13, 2008

i love my job

Ok. So today, I love my job. :) I say today, because honestly that isn't true everyday.
There are times I get so frustrated or discouraged wanting my ministry to be further along than it is. I get upset at myself and wonder what I'm doing wrong or if I'm truly following the Holy Spirit. There are times I wish I worked 9 am to 5 pm instead of 11 am to 12 am. There are times I wish I wasn't juggling a million different roles trying to meet my staff team's, my student's, and my own expectations. But today. Today I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now!

It started yesterday with our staff team taking some risks and traveling to other campuses to see if we could start new ministries. We went to Cal State University Northridge and Pepperdine. At CSUN, we arrived on an unusually sunny day and people were out and about. We walked and prayed around the campus, asking God for opportunities to start new ministries to the students there. Then we started approaching students and talking with them about their spiritual beliefs. The first girl I talked to happened to go to my old church, Cornerstone, and wants to be a missionary! She was totally interested in starting a Campus Crusade for Christ group at CSUN. We encouraged one another and shared prayer requests. I was able to then share my faith with another girl who was atheist, and she was very open to talking to me. I shared my testimony with another girl who said she was atheist, and she seemed really interested. Although they didn't put their faith in Christ, I was glad that God led me to them to share my faith. Who knows what God may do in their hearts in the future! I am reminded of the parable of the sower, and though I am able to sow many seeds, it is God who produces the growth in the soil that the truth lands on. Whenever I share my faith with people who are "non-religious" or "atheist," I am reminded of myself before I was a Christian and how against Christianity I was. I mocked it and was so proud to be a self-sufficient atheist without the "crutch" of religion. But God took hold of me and turned my life around! And in his incredible mercy (and sense of humor) He has made me an apostle to atheists! :)

One other girl I spoke with that day came from a Catholic background, and although she didn't go to church anymore, allowed me to share the gospel with her. She agreed that Jesus had died for her sins, but when I asked her if she knew who the Holy Spirit was, she said that she didn't really know much. So, I explained to her who the Holy Spirit was and how He is our counselor and helper, and on the spot she prayed to be filled completely with the Holy Spirit! "That felt really good!" she said afterwards. I pray that she continues to grow in her relationship with Jesus through dependence upon the Spirit.

I was exhausted after yesterday, but surprisingly I woke up with a fresh perspective and excitement today! I asked the Holy Spirit to lead me where He wanted me today, and I hit the UCLA campus ready for a full day. This morning I had breakfast with a sweet girl in our movement who needed encouragement and counsel. I love counseling younger women! It is one of my true joys in life. Later I met with another one of my girls, Kate, to go on campus and share our faith. Although she was a bit nervous, we went out and got into 2 awesome conversations with people who we were given the privilege of sharing the gospel with. One girl shared with us that she wasn't sure if there was a God because of all the evil in this world. When I asked her if I could explain how Christians view the problem of evil, she looked at her watch and said, "I gotta go soon, but explain it to me in 2 minutes." Wow! At that point the Holy Spirit totally took over, because somehow my lips started moving and I explained the doctrine of evil, the fall, the redemption found in Christ, and the promise of a new heaven and new earth in 2 minutes. How real are Jesus's words: "do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it i will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." (Matt 10:19)

Two more meetings with my girls followed. Danielle and I talked on end about what it means to be a woman of God, a woman of prayer, and a woman of justice. Keo and I spent time resting in the Word. Later, I went to our CCC weekly meeting and met some great new students who are just now getting plugged into the ministry.

So after a couple long emotionally and spiritually full days, I find myself so energized and excited! I remember why I wanted to go into ministry in the first place. I love seeing lives changed. I love seeing my girls hungry for the word and the truth. I love being an ambassador for Christ and telling the world about Him and what He's done in my life! And at the end of the day, when all is said and done, I remember. Jesus is the best thing about me and the only One I would live for. I am His and He is mine. I'll follow Him until the end of time and to the ends of the earth, if it costs everything that I have within me, because His love is better than life.